the fall..

The tower looms over me

I stand a million miles away...

the beacon of our strength

one that talks of our bond...

Its making is a memory

one that could never fade

the sins that almost brought it down

were forgiven to mould it one..

The pain of parting, it then came

the realization of bein a part, apart or no

bubbling pride, vanity i guess,

to see it up there so far away

A break, finally

reunion a must

to bask under the glory 

the glory of the tower we made

But, the closer i came

bigger the cracks i saw

vines of distrust seeping through

spites of anger burning through

Oh Lord! have mercy!!

for what happened??

the peace from far

was just a battles scar...

No ton of cement 

could hold this through

No mould of iron

could make it stand

For the weakness up there

was infact down there

we had added faith n trust, forgiveness too

but wat was all this worth without the truth??

I weep now

wat else to do?

the tower, my pride

is falling down

Damn the sun, it shines so high

Damn the clouds coz it shadows the shine

Damn the birds, damn the wind

God damn it all.. n me....

on the bench..

Its not the bench that bothers me

Its not my game that saddens me

Its hard for me to forget this,

this game I name my passion, my life.

Am not a willful person,

I do not seem to work my dreams.

Yet my dreams are always there

asking, why my work doesn't take me there?

But none of this is wat bothers me

Acceptance, always a question I ask

Never there but always just there.

They say I am killing me,

killing me and my dreams with me.

Was I ever good at what i did?

well before i started killing I mean.

It calms me down, it soothes my nerves

It makes me at ease, you'll smile at this

say its crap and turn the page

Read it all and say it again

Quit the thing that kills you my friend..

the smoking guilt

The wind ruffling my hair, my goatee tingles with joy. I think of wat to write. The words dont come to me. I want to write something profound, with a deep sense of meaning, but I guess that is just not me..

I want to write something about my life that would grouse you out, or maybe make u go wow-wow, this guy's got balls. Then again my life has been so plain and bland talking about it could make you go to sleep like a mother's sweet lullaby.

And now the green-brown paddy fields pass by. Amidst the otherwise deserted land stands the majestic towers of power....

The paddy fields go passing by

the green the brown they make me cry

with all this beauty in front my eyes

all i want is to smoke right now.

The frenzy crowd, of which i was part

banging heads and smoked up punks

screwed up gals and groping arms

Maiden singing the songs we love

Eddy comes and his jerking off

In the crowd, i stand awed

by the gods of metal in front of me

One arm in air, the other somewhere

the music blasts and i am up in air

my mind stirs, i need a smoke.

I'm not an addict

Really, i can quit

I need but a reason

and a valid one for that.

Looking back at wat got me there

borrowed cash and untold truth

A heart cares for me

a long way from here

but my ears arent deaf to it

Screwed up exams,screwed up guilt

Barely a man and screwed up trying.

Money and love all we want

love we have we do not care

is it love or wat comes after

that makes any man go mad about her.

With smoking hands I walk to her

will drop the smoke in front of her.

Regret i wont, not when she's mine

for, a love in hand is a smoker's high.

That till she breaks my heart, or i her's

the smoking hands arise thenforth.

A screwed up life, ain't this one?

where conscience hurts

the heart cries

but the willful mind has its way

Out for a smoke, I need one now

So long suckers, its my turn now..